urge

the urge is there
but my head is empty
insperation is what i need
so where is she

ghost of a sole

out of the courner of my eye
i see some one moving
but when i turn i know
that sole that could have been there
is no longer present
some one is watching me
interested in what i do or where i go
and why i am here
i mean no harm and dont want to leave a mark
i feel that they are mad
or worried that when i leave
i will have destroyed what was there
and should have stayed the way it should have been
trees of tall are out side
and in side they burn
over your head is the stars and wind
and over my head are gasses that glow
i am awake when my eyes should be shut
i am alone when promised to be two
here it is
i survive the day and walk the night
the west is calling me
but fear keeps me in the hills
drugs of choice keep vison open
blured thoughts are all that can be recalled
where i am going is known
but what i am doing is confused

tagged i guess

so my furry friend
who sends nice gifts
of dry coco and beer
i got tagged
cought in "rack" of mayhem and confusion
so ususally i dont
but here i guess i will
for you my moosie friend
i will write

meme for squid, know me a little better

5 things in the fridge

-6 pack or rolling rock, 6 pack of magic hat, 6 pack of bud light (how did the fucken bud light get in there you ask? i dont know, its not mine, maybe shortrounds?)
-condiments, and lots of them, lots of hot sauce
-apple juice (cuz i drink lots of juice)
-gallon of whole mile (cuz i drink who milk out of the carton)(im a male squid come on!)
-baked beans made my short round that are white... i dont get it

5 things in my closet
-cloths on the floor
-blankets on the shelf
-november my kitty
-some sneakers, ok 3 pair
-a chair (for the cat to sit on)

(side note for moosie, i have a very large walk in closet with a light in it)

5 things in josey (truck)
-Ultimate frisbee bag with a huge frist aid kit and 5 disks
-Dirty laundry
-Extra pair of work boots (military jump boots from my merchant marine days)
-my keys (i live in back woods vermont people)
-two mountain bike down hill tubes

5 things in my wallet (i dont own a purse)
-my merchant marine license
-my master divers license
-my license
-my bank card
-my credit cars
(no cash, i dont carry any, and if i do, it is in my front pocket)

free time

i dont have any lately
so this is all i can write

hero lost

where have you gone
and where have you been
i needed you
and when i looked
you where not there
all of what was left
was this empty shell
and all that i could do
was sit and see
left behind
alone
as i walk lost
through the hallways of life
looking for reason
i wonder

be there?

it has been a couple days
and i knew it would
this time i write to you
what i should

time and time
or drinks after two
more than three
and tomany after a few

but when i do
flow that is
i feel free
and life that is
i write to you
yes to you
you can read
what i type to you

i tell you my life
and where i am
what i feel
and who i am

i suck at this poetry
yes i know
but who the fuck cares
you... i hope so

just remember
this one time
when you where there
to listen
to a ryme

was it just because
or where you a sholder
all i ask of you
is to just remember

this one time
i was there
just for you
and i did not care
i carried you out
in to the blue
introduced you
to something new

i called it calm
and called it true
it was all that i knew

it was so simple
what did you not see
but i did not tell you
that once it was me

i did not say
you where wrong
everyone has
to experience
the time to belong

when you are out of the loop
and you feel
stranger than true

all i ask
of all of you

remember
there is some one out there
the same as you
going through the same
period of true

feelings of lost
and feelings of freet
all you need
and a deep breath

so call me up
e-mail me too
if i cant help
i can point you to some too
but all i want
is to be free
and true
all i want
is to become something
other than blue

one more thing
before i become asque
when i leave
will you be there too?