I'll take the side order please

So it is either a surving of revenge
or another one of life's crule jokes
but then again
who cares

When so called christ was born
i would have been working nights
and now i am again
and again
and again
and again and again and a GOD DAMN AGEN
FUCKEN PEOPLE DONT GET IT
so i guess its not that bad right?
miss a holiday here
miss a holiday there
be sleeping when the kiddies open thier gifts
awake when santa lands on the roof tops
and when 2005 turns in to the 6
i will be working

i was awake when the bunny was hoppen the fields
i was awake when the turkey was shot
im going to be a wake when santa come for a visit
and when 05 becomes shiny and new as on 06

so what do i get in return
double time an a half for every hour i work
i get to spend time with some one i really dont get along with
i get to hear every one wine about traveling
and how it is so sad im not there
i get to call everyone
and hear about the gifts they got
and how mine should be in the mail
i will pictures the day after in an e-mail
i will get some left overs later in the week
a card or two

fuck this shit i tell you
fuck the holidays
and all the hastle that comes with it
give me a bottle of jack
some time alone with the cat
and let me pass out on the couch
i would rather be on the moon
or across the eath some where else

so if you want to join me
on a happy day
and you are going to be alone too
call me up
im me on aol
or stop by the plant between 1900 and 0700
and i will be here
i'll cook you some late night thai
and chat it up

what i will do is
for my relief who has the same curse i do
i will tell him to be a couple hours late
on the morning of that day
so he can spent the time with his kids
insted of whishing he was at home
watching his kids open thier presents
he can and i will take some extra time
and just relax at work
put my feet up
lean back in the chair
and dream about what could have been

Craving

This week brought a lot with it
i went places
i did new things
i spent time with frineds

i craved it
i still crave

i came home again
i went out looking for lights
no one was home
my two wheels had to rest
i craved it

the flight
the take off
the landing
the drop
the crashes
the fun
my hert pumping in fear
in excitment
i craved it

november craved my atention
so i finally gave it to him
i scratched his next
brushed his coat
through his gray friend

then it was off to bed

i read about other lives again
i looked deep in to someone elses' dreams
and wished they were my own
i saw flight
i saw revenge
i saw justice
i craved it

then i turned off my little sun
rolled over to see yellow eyes great me
then i realized what i craved
what i had for one night
what i really craved

i had for one night this week
the ability to lay next to some one else
to hold her
have one arm around her
and listen to her fall asleep curled up
keeping her warm
a slight stur here and there
and i fell asleep with my nose burried in the back of her neck
that is what i was craving
to wake
still with some one in my arms
my nose burried in her neck
a slight stur
keeping her warm
an no miss conceptions
just a sleep
just keeping her warm
that is waht i crave

Family and Work

There is Turkey on the table
And rover got a bit
Uncle Sam is in the corner
Chatting it up with Cousin Phillip
The ball game is on
And no one seems to care
The Whole Family is here
Except for one empty chair

The Soft Street lights
Shine on the snow
There are no cars on the go
Every one is at home
With no important place to go

Mom starts to look around
And notice your not there
You couldn’t be home
Because the army couldn’t care

My buddy Grunt Signed up to be a solider
Ready to go
Over seas he is
No where close to snow

As I sit here
And type this for you
I’m sitting at the power plant
Ready to make power for you

Thanksgiving is going to be the same
Sleep the Day away
I’m going to work nights
Waking up to November’s purring
Before the alarm clock starts to strike

So please remember
When you are home
That people are out there
Working all alone

We didn’t ask for pity
Or for some one to say “I’m Sorry”
We just want to know
While we are alone
That someone is thinking
Hoping we come home

Broken Rubber

so the other day
i noticed a split
and the next day
a slight tug of my shirt
and it fell off
it broke
im kinda heart broken
i saved my kitty
i know
but i loved to let others know
i dont like lance's
and i didnt mind
the 5 bucks
but it was more of a heat break
than a dissapointment

No Need

So im excited
i am learning
what i wanted
i am up walls
in the air
on one wheel
over the edge and having fun
nice people
nice place
now i dont focus on a mate
i focus on me

the look of confusion

i was up
i tossed some food
he was walking around
talken as usual
then
cougcoughhack

and he looked at me
his eyes said it all

what is that
where did it come from
did i do that
what should i do about it
im afraid
im scared
what is that
help me
what do i do
ive never done that
help me
help me

its ok little guy
step away, i will take caer of it
here is a treat
you are ok
here ya go
look all gone
i took care of it for ya
its ok
here how about a pat on the noggen
a scratch under the neck
yeah... there ya go
its ok
im not mad
its not your fault

pppuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Pieces of Soft Skin

Sitting discussing the weekend
i took out my knife
slowly carved at the burnt pieces
cutting slowly
he watched me
i calmly spoke as i slowly cut
i took the pieces of skin and placed them on my leg
i was alsost done
cutting slower and slower
taken out the dead parts
leaving the living
i gut up and tossed the usless in the trash
refolded the knife
placed it back into my pocket
he looked at me like i was crazy
i stared back and asked him how his weekend was

now looking at the pieces that are missing
i see new skin forming
it hurts to move
as it did before
but i know i did it to my self
both times so i never compalin
is she sees what i have done
she will again think i am unstable
but this time i was sober

i give it a month
before i can use them
with out wincing inside

Dark, but clear

most of what is read
the images
the text
the dark paper
it makes it clear to me
i question everything
that i have learned
int he frist 18 years
and now it is more clear
not as clear as water
but less merky
dark is clear
and clear is dark
no one will see
but the love
the passion
the way of life
the dive of will
work is never done
but the push that dives
is my heart and nothing else
that is what is taking me day by day
that is what takes me out of bed
but what keeps me there to afternoon as well

Three fingers

to day i still see what stupidity is
i looked down at my hand
i start to pick at it with my pocket knife
poke at the calises
poke to find that they are liquid filled
underneeth the pressure
the release of liquid feels better
i can still remember
i was out of it
i decided i wanted to cook
and the stove was hot
i can see the lines
still an engineer
i knew
hand under cold running water
hold ice in the hand
good thing i was out of it
cuz the pain would have drove me insaine
she just walked away
we dont talk about it much
and i refuse to show her

Truly

so we talked
and chatted
and drove
im gald
so happy
you feel that you are
and you want to share
and i can hear you out
but i dont want to shoot you down
i drove him out of my life
for a reason
and my views are never going to change
and i dont want to put
another bump in your road
telling you why
i feel that
..........
he is just a kid with an ant farm
and im sorry that i truly believe that

some personal facts i guess

2 Names You Go By
1. You will probobly never see my real name here
2. squid

2 Parts of Your Heritage
1. itlian
2. french

2 Things that Scare You
1. space alians
2. dark and quiet places

2 of Your Everyday Essentials
1. pocket knife
2. watch

2 Things You are Wearing Right Now
1. work cloths and boots
2. safety glasses and hard hat

2 of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. incubus
2. live

2 of Your Favorite Songs (at the moment)
1. anything sherl crow
2. anything liz phair

2 Things You Want in a Relationship (Other than Real Love)
1. faith in the relationship
2. some one to be there

2 Truths
1. i dont use rubber gloves doing chemistry (i really should)
2. and i drive with out a seat belt some times... lots of times

2 Physical Things that Appeal to You (In the Opposite Sex)
1. legs
2. eyes

2 of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. mountain biking
2. scubadiving

2 Things You Want Really Badly
1. haro extreem x2 mountain bike
2. tusa dive computer

2 Places You Want to Go on Vacation
1. singapor
2. australia

2 Things You Want to Do Before you Die
1. become a comercial diver
2. have a baby girl to call my own

2 Ways You are Stereotypically a Dude/Chick
1. drive a big red truck
2. have tattoos

2 Things You are Thinking About Right Now
1. now my engineer tattoo
2. writing this

2 Stores You Shop At
1. on line everywhere
2. the white market super market

2 People I would like to see take this quiz
1. no real intrest
2. nope..... have no intrest... maybe my roommate

hichic run hichic

hichichic
i ran hichic
hichic burp
to the hic
top of the hichichic
hichic
of the silos
hic.... hic coughcough
cough hic hic hic
and gave my self the
hichichic.... hic
thehichichichic
coughhic
yeah hichic
so hichic
yeahhichichichcihic
sighhic
im going to hic
bed hichic

Stiff Noodle

eyes as large a puppy
knowing he did something wrong
cought in the headlights of evaluation
this dear quivers
he wants so much
and to prove he tries
and like a good dog
asks for aprovial
and like a bad dog
he takes what is not his

when my trun comes up
may it be today
or tomorrow

i will walk in
sholders straight
head high
knowing i tried my best
i did my best
i envested my time
and never gave up

when he askes me
the questios on fair play
and honisty
and my oppinion

i will not buckel and say
i have nothing to add
i will say
fair play?
honisty?
do you really want my oppinion?
or do you want me to run
with my tail between my legs?
because i dont run
so plan on sitting there for a while
and i will explain
why you loose your gofers
like water down a drain