short smile

im here listening
to a song i like
for a reason i know all to well
walking in the rain
i see a small friend on the hood
he is scared of me
but he brings a smile to my face
he has no need to worry
i would not harm him in any way
so i walk away
he will be gone by morning
and i will be too
where to

should i tavel

so i visit
and i go
and i spend more time by my self than i do at home
and i leave november home to fend for him self
i wonder what he does when im gone

so some land got flooded
thanks to some weather
i would like to go down and help anyway i can
but i cant leave here right now
well i could
but where and what would i do when i get down there
i may start to investigate
see how i can make a difference
i dont want to donate money, cuz i have sceen many thing go wrong with that.
what i want to do is go down
use my hands
my blood sweat and tears to rebuild
to make new
to fix old
to see life again
i want to creat
im tired of destroying
maybe she is out there, and i will find her in my travels
maybe not
i should get back to work.

Puma

i have these shoes
since high school
yeah high school
and i like them alot
ive done alot in them
been round the world twice
puked on
crashed a bike
a couple bikes
but the best was being puked on

i dont get them

as depression sets in
i feel confused
i try and talk to her and it seems like im abother
so should i move on
or should i keep up the pace
i dont know
i dont think she likes what i got to offer
but then again she still talks to me
i may dissapear for a while
and see where that takes me
hopefull somewhere
no mention about the kiss
that could be it
who knows
fuckeit

explainitory (miss spelled?)

i wrote you a letter
two at that
i explained my worries
my thoughts
my maddness at the world
at work
at the earth
at home
i told you that i worry about november
and that i want...
but not right now
and you write back insted of
telling me its ok
or that you hear me out
you tell me you are the voice of reason
and that im in a rush
i didnt say i was doing anything
i said i was thinking
thinking is not acting
your worried about my moeny
what ever
that is why i hide all the time
i feel that when i do talk
you dont listed to whats behind it all
you listen to the cover story
and see the surface
maybe i should hide again

restart

gone to feel like hell tonight
with tears of rage i i can not lie
i will be the last to help you to understand

i finished a book yester day
chaperter 16 for me was harder than i could ever imagine
the book is call Three Weeks Wtih My Brother

i wont go into the details
but i read it in three days

for anyone that know who i am
if i could devour a book like that
in that short of time
it may be worth looking at

the emotions it pulled from me where refreshing
i have been living in the dark for a long time

i rejected faith
i rejected family
i rejected friends

i gave up on water
i gave up on earth
and never tested the air

i was living a world
of wandering
i was not a nomad
i was not looking
i was just moving
no place to run to
but it seemed like i had to start

a chage in the wind was on its way
but i never thought it would come from here

money really ment nothing to me
never had and never will

november is being neglected
and i feel horable about it
the one thing in my life that needs me
a furry month you could say
and i no matter what he cry's
or what he does for attention
i decide to ignore him

i really dont know where life is going
or what it holds for me
and right now i guess im not in the mood to care

i guess i got what i wanted
i asked to move to some where new
where noone knew me
and just start over

my start over is very lonely!