And I thought yesterday was bad

i woke up this morning
my eyes where clear
and it was warm for a cold month
i guess i could have flet
that it was going to be
but i got up out of bed
november was by me the whole time
he was hungry
and i was too

the morning started at a good pase
i had enough to do
and i had time to do it
i had ambition

some one got a phone call
i tracked him down
and then it changed
i had a phone call
so there i was
i answered my sholder and walked to a room
i knew who it was
it was a nice change to talk to him

i picked up and cheerfuly answered
his reply was not as cheerful as my greating
something happened
the phone call was not for me
it was just horrable news
and some one trusted needed to be told

shock ran through my body
and my heart dropped from my chest
my mentor
my friend
had lost something very dear to him
and he had to confide it to me

i could hear the emotion in his voice
and i could hear him holding back
he spoke only what was needed
and i accepted the information
and his task he asked me to do

i was perpaired to bend over backwards
to stop the earth
for anything he or his family needed
i offered anything i could do

he only replied that he was gratefull
and he could contact me if it was needed

i dont remember how it ended,
but i found my self with
the reciever on the base
standing there still
with the constant noise behind me

now at my feet
was the task he asked me
what he confided in me
i had to share with others
people that knew him
and his family

so i started off, in the order he wanted
a friend frist
then another that i knew would like to know
then i moved up the food chain
cought the two in one room
the shock was as devistating everytime

the words out of my mouth
didnt seem real
didnt seem like mine
it was not my voice
with the information i had
but everyone listened
eyes wide open in shock
mouths agape
frozen
as if time had stoped

then the comments of dissbealief
and the whos and whys
and the wheres and hows
and the what next

but all i had was what i gave them
and all i could offer
was nothing at all

i finaly had a chance to stop
i got the chance to sit down
and actualy sit
i sat and stared at nothing
and i didnt think much
but the shock still hit me

questions of why
and how
and everything else poped in my head
after time had passed

and i know no answers will ever come
that will satisfy my cravings
for what the right answer should be

now i sit here
writing
and planing

for all the support he gave me
for all the respect
for all the teachings
for all the kindness

it is not that i owe him
or that i feel i have to be
but i feel that he is a friend
more than just a coliege

we had time to share family stories
stories about friends
and plans we have
and things we are doing

he listened to me
and respected me
and my respect for him is with out end

so i guess
there is no true way of saying
what i truly feel
but atleast i got some of it out

it was a rainy day
with a threat of a horable day
but it turned out to be
one of the worst days i will ever have at a job
and i hope
that i will never have to experiance
the feelings i had to work though
today
ever again,
but im i would never turn
a friend away
if he or she ever needed
to confide
something like what was
confided in me today

tragity strikes at the worst times
and it makes us question
too many things

so she said

so she said she had a kid
and i said she was tiny
and she said she was out
and i said she was crazy
what i really wanted to say
was stop waisting my time
go away little one
i dont want to hear about your
back woods miss marrage
and i dont want anything to do
with your or your drunken friends
but she had the hots for my buddy
and he waned out worse than i
so he threw out some bad
mouthed
slurs
that the third found offencive
and we where out of there
good thing, cuz it got worse as we
were leaving
and all i could see was
another dissapointment

I remember

no one seems to remember what today is
but i do
i remember where i was
what i was doing
where i was standing
who i held
who was crying
what i was feeling
and i will never forget
i will never not remeber what day today is
it is early morning
and its a long day ahaid
but i will stand up straight
i will move with grace
and i will remember all thoes who fell
who severd knowing they will not make it home
to say good bye one more time
to kiss thier kids
to hug their wives or husbands
to never see their loved ones again
i will never forget what day today is
keep fighting the good fight where ever you are
i envy the courage you had
and the people you did save
Thank you, and god rest your soles
you are at heaven's gates
ST peter is there shaking your hand
with a tear in his eye
and a smile on his face
you have made it home
but left so much behind
with no questions asked

Thank You

Support

she is in her bed
and her mate by her side
she was great
and she is still great
life is moving in inches for her
and every step we watch with our eyes
many people
who can fix anything
and we cant lend a finger of help
all we can do is sit and wait
write cards and letters
to many engineers feel helpless
to many people want to do good
and all we can do is watch
but she is breathing
and on her own
she always did everything on her own

keep up the fight serena! we all love you!

1000 paper tears

i folded you a crane
but i dont know who you are
or where you are
i created a bird of flight
with a long creased neck
a tail of white
the wings fold down
she stands on the table with grace
i look at her
she is not perfect
but she is beautiful
will each crane i make
the feelings grow stronger
if i could cry 1000 tears
could my wish come true

I'm on fire, for a friend

Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
I'm on fire

Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I do
I can take you higher
I'm on fire

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby
edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley
through the middle of my soul

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
and a freight train running through the
middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
I'm on fire

a long ride home

i drove every day
the gas pump loves josie
but hates my wallet
but it was all worth it
i would spend every cent to go she her again
it was such a good time
all good talks
all good dances
and all good times
it was like old times again
where we could talk about anything
and we could see in each others eyes that the truth it worth it
im going to miss her again
and im going to go visit
i wish, i wish i could be closer
but the phone and e-mial work
so does chat
but driving home that day
driving three hours away was one of the hardest things i have ever done
i wish, i wish i could be closer
but communication will work