im tired of what i bring

Im goin to work between the suns again
but the light will not bless my face with emotion
the moons will become what leads me
i will miss my family
and miss my friends
they will not know what i am doing
and when they want to know they will interupt me
at the end of my moons i will travle once again
i realy am not looking forward to it either
i will see new
and i will see old
i will answer questions
and i will drink like an old sailor use too
what i would like to do is make the time for my self again
what i would like to do is make time for another
some one to come home to
but that is far off

is it more

well i left today
but i was there yesterday
i missed you, but...
well i did miss you, your voice and how you talk
how you look and how you walk
i noticed manythings that i missed before
i remember that one time
that one time
i should have taken that chance then
but now i look back and...
well i guess there is more to come
you come home and i will be there
just to talk and sit
just to see you and how you are

All dried up

He stares at me
is it a he...
well it stares at me
so funny to see it all dried up
supose to be wet
i guess it seems happy
well it really doesnt have feelings
but it is not supose to be all dried up

Dry Lump

I know where it is, but i cant get it
i can get it, but i cant
I dont expect you to understand that one
but i just cant get it
a dry lump is starting to form
i will get it later
i think i just want to waist time
and i am
i cant get it
or i dont want to get it

Wish i had

You know...
i read every day
and in envy
i really miss that
wish i had that
so simple
so pure
such some thing i miss
some thing so...
you know what i really want?
what i crave?
something that i.....
simple.........

I Dont Understand What You are Saying

Ahhhhh you talk so much some times
i cant really blame you
you miss me for 12 hours
then you nap with me for 11
you really dont get the atention your need
but you seem happy when im home
i like your voice
it is compelling and distracting
but i wish i could understand you
becuase you put so much emotion in what you say
it fills the room
you want to tell me something
but i dont hear it
i look in the same direction you do
to try and see what you see
but i can, maybe that is it
i really see what you see
sigh... maybe it is nap time again
i like that

I had a day dream

ive been workin between suns
my moon has become my guiding light
so today i had a day dream
and it was about you
we were together again but distant
and you refused everything i tried
you didnt let me feel how i wanted
and i twisted in a uncomfertable
i woke to be disgusted
in my self, i stooped low again
and it brings out more demons
i hate my self after day dreams like that
but i changed my self
i some times wonder how you would see me now
probably the same
i dont think i changed any
but i tried
my demons haunt my every waking moment between suns

the jacket

now this jacket here
it is not really mine
i kinda took it from its place
now i wear it
mostly at home where it is protected
some times i wear it out, but mostly not
i try to patch it up
it make me feel good inside
it is not my jacket
it was not my dads
it was passed down
taken down
it was only given once
uncle sam gave it to a cosin
not my cosin
but to a cosin
then it was given again kinda
it is old
warn out
and could be thrown away
but that could never happen
it has sceen snow
rain
sun and night
it kept me warm
it kept dad warm
it kept a stranger warm
it kept a cosin warm
now it keeps a hanger warm
but i know where it is
and i take it out
just to fix it up
so some one can take it from me some day

A quick notice

if you look real close
i mean real close
only people that can see this can see
it may not be important
it may not be great
but it is something that made me feel special once
once that was along timeago
wheni could truly say love graced my presence
for a short time in space
a blink of an eye
but that one quick notice
the skin is raised a little more than the rest
and the hair that grew is ligher than all the rest around it
it is in plain sight on sunny days
days on the beach
after a shower
when it is warm out
when im out for a tan
it is always there
but only a quick notice could see this
and make me feel like some one cared once
once...... to long ago to remember what that feels like

Why do you still come by

eeeeehhh i know you can see me
i know i can see you
you always come by here
why do you do that
i dont want to talk to you
i dont care if you have a new frined
i dont care what you do
why do you care if im home
why do you care if there is another car here
november is doin fine
he is happy where he is
i dont think he misses you
so why do you come around here
i know you dont like her all that much
you told me to my face many a time
but still you park there
walk by
and make me nervious
cus i dont want to talk
see
be with
or stay in contact with you
it was over when i said so!

Ran out of juice...

It happened... i thought and prayed it never would
i just ran out of emotions to put down
i really hope it comes back
i feel empty
my demons are not sitting on the sholder of life any more
the dont tourcher my every thought
my love is not in my mind or heart
i cant think of anything to place here to sooth my sole
it seems like it has been soothed
i need a change
but what,
love has passed me by
i live in a desilate place
everything is calm
i have no more push
i have no creativity
there is nothing to get out of my head
it is driving me crazy

Sleep Walking

Working between suns is differnt than working between moons
life changes around you
days change with you
and you watch the world move around you
you dont miss a thing, but you miss it happening
it is different, but the time is the same
you feel left out some times, but you leave everyone out
you go home to people leaving
and they come home to you leaving
meals become what they are
and pets become confused
conections become strange, no one can find you

Whats this supose to mean

i had a dream today
and it was today, because the night is now my day
the dream was strange
i talked to the new pope over the powerstation raido
i was in my old alter server robe
i could not understand what he said
but my questions were answered, but they were not questions
then i was back to the academy
in formation where i use to stand
and pat was there, he was up front
having a difficult time
he and frost asked me to go up and i did
i lead the company back and forth, back and forth
i was in charge again
then november waned food and woke me up.
i think he knows when i need to get up
so i did and went to work.
but what did that dream mean?